Our eldest is one of those kids who needs to know. He has always been like this. He just has to know what’s going on, what’s the plan, how long things will take, what will happen afterwards.

I guess you could say he has control freak tendencies.

One of the things that Art and I do that drives poor Bubs crazy is sending him away so we can talk. Every now and then, it’s to discuss something truly important, but mostly it’s just so we can talk without him overhearing and commenting on every little thing.

Because when you vent about someone, and then find a notebook with “so-and-so isn’t nice to Mommy” written in first-grade scrawl, you start to rethink your conversation topics when your kid is around.

Anyway.

Bubs has recently begun reading the Jigsaw Jones books, mostly I think because he read all the Magic Tree House books at the library. Jigsaw Jones is a detective. And he uses codes and stuff. Which Bubba things are awesome.

Yesterday he tried to teach his preschool-aged brother how to read a code he had written. Poor Bubba. It’s hard to be a secret spy detective when the only person you have to share your secret spy detective codes with is someone who can read only his own name and the words “Made in China.” (Exaggeration. But not much.)

Yesterday Bubs also started working on his “cases.” Currently he has two cases, which he has named “The Case of the Tooth Fairy” and “The Case of the Turning Knobs.” He is trying to figure out where the Tooth Fairy lives. The Tooth Fairy is the only mythical creature Bubs actually believes in, and he refuses to believe Art when Art tells him that the Tooth Fairy lives in his very house and sleeps in the next bedroom. The turning knob case has something to do with the knobs on the washer and dryer. I probably could have solved this mystery for him, except that he was talking while I was trying to play a riveting game of Scramble on Facebook, so I’m not really sure what that’s all about. I probably should find out before he dismantles my appliances trying to solve his case.

Because then he’ll be trying to solve “The Case of the Laundromat that Used All My Birthday Money.”

Anyway, in addition to secret codes and mystery cases, yesterday Bubba also decided to delve into the world of spying. No spy would be complete without his gadgets, but unlike James Bond, Bubs does not have access to all the coolest new spy gear.  So he is forced to create his own.

Which brings me back to all that stuff about us kicking him up to his bedroom or down to the playroom when we want to have a private conversation.

Last night, Art and I were engaged in some mad board game playage, when we found our eyes drawn to a large paper cube on the shelf in the dining room. Upon investigation, we discovered that this box was made of printer paper taped together, and that within its recesses lay a walkie-talkie.

And on the outside, we read the words “Lisuner Z-2000.” (That’s my rockin’ spelling bee boy!)

Our son tried to bug the dining room.

With a giant paper cube.

With a walkie-talkie inside.

With a big misspelled label on the outside.

Of course, he hasn’t figured out how to make it work yet. And we haven’t told him that if he rigged something up to hold the button down and sat in another room with the other walkie, he probably could actually listen in on our conversations.

He may or may not figure it out before he moves on to his “next big thing.”

If he does figure it out though, I expect he’ll be disappointed to hear us discussing such important items as which veggie to serve with dinner.

“The Case of Why My Parents Are So Boring” will be soon to follow, I have no doubt.